Why Didn’t G-d Do Anything When My Mother Died?

A grieving reader, angry that G-d seemingly did nothing, asks how to make sense of a parent’s death.

Q. Why Gd didn’t do anything when my mother died?

I’m so sorry to hear that your mother died. Of course G-d “did something” for even in death, there are many different ways, and each person is granted that which is best for them and their surroundings. Just as a young child often doesn’t understand his parents’ actions which are all meant for his benefit, similarly we often don’t understand why a certain fate is beneficial. Often the benefit is seen only in the long term (perhaps even in the world to come…) and often that which seems bad is really good in the development. With all the pain involved, intellectually, we know that every person eventually dies at a different age, so your question is the same as people ask why G-d doesn’t make them always succeed in everything, or why are there wars in the world. This is part of people having free will, which is inherently good and pleasureful, that inevitably there must be challenges and failures in order to have that independent pleasure called “free will”. The fact that your mother is now in a better world and no longer suffering is comfort regarding her, but her loved ones, including yourself are left feeling her loss. This is an opportunity for others to help you, and for you to meet the challenge and destine your fate to build yourself, for the next generation must eventually “take over”. Nevertheless, I bless you that hopefully your challenges shall always be as sweet as possible in the short term, and not just in the long term, and that G-d should comfort you together with all of the mourners of Israel and Jerusalem.