Category: Q&A

Mincha before candle-lighting, and candles that need to burn far longer than usual.

Q. What’s done differently when Chanuka falls on Shabbat?

Firstly, it’s preferable on Fri. afternoon, to daven mincha before lighting Chanuka candles, because mincha “belongs” to Fri. whereas the Chanuka candles already “belong” to Shabbat. To this end, most communities have early minyanim for mincha, so that people don’t need to hurry back home afterwards to light. If it’s complicated, then you can light candles before going to shul. In addition, one must use longer/thicker candles or more oil than usual (the regular ones last about 40 minutes, and even less on the 8th night when the many candles, add abundant heat!). The candles or oil must be long enough to burn a half hour “into” your proper time. Accordingly, in Israel, for those who’s “time” is usually to light at sunset (mostly Ashkenazim), theirs must burn almost an hour (22-24 minutes before sunset+ 30 minutes of burning time), and for Jerusalemites, at least an hour+ 10 minutes, (for they light Shabbat candles 40 minutes before sunset). For sfaradim and those who light from night time (15-20 minutes later than sunset), their menorah’s must last that much longer!

R. Moshe Feinstein adds, that although candles should usually be basically the same height (so viewers can tell which day of Chanuka it is), since viewers know that Shabbat is special and different, if you don’t have enough long/fat candles, you can light some longer and some shorter ones, together, and if there’s no choice, some which will last the full time and others that won’t.

The same logic that permits ordinary digital watches turns out to cover altimeters and thermometers too, as long as you don’t press to activate on Shabbat.

Q. Am I allowed to wear a watch with an altimeter and other prohibited touch-activated functions on Shabbat?

After a brief check on how those watches works, it seems that one must always activate the touch-sensitive glass by pressing a button or code. If so, it is just like most digital watches where, even though theoretically one may forget or accidentally activate electricity through pushing a button, nevertheless, we are not concerned or worried that one might do so. Since the “fall” of the Sanhedrin about 1900 years ago, we basically can’t issue new prohibitions, unless they are considered logical or necessary continuations of previously issued decrees, which isn’t the case in this situation (we have not heard mainstream poskim prohibit using such watches on Shabbat). Accordingly, the watch itself (without the electrically activated meters) is allowed unless one must electrically activate the watch to actually see the time. On the other hand, there are a few watches where even the time is not displayed until one presses a button, where it would accordingly, be prohibited on Shabbat.

With Love of Israel, Rav Ari Shvat

A Chassidic idea: heaven and hell are the same place — the difference is what you actually enjoy.

Q. Is hell a real place people go after they die?

According to an interesting Chassidic idea, heaven and hell are really the same place, just that for one person it’s paradise, and for the other, it’s “boring as hell”. It actually makes a lot of sense, for in a world where there is no “place”, we’re all in the “same place”! After death, our soul doesn’t change, but continues exactly as the person we were when we “left off”. For someone whose definition of fun is their car, internet, money, computer and iPhone, when he gets to that spiritual world-to-come it’s going to be super-boring, because there is none of the above! On the other hand, for somebody who gets pleasure from goodness, Torah study, ideological thought and discussion, love and spirituality- it’s Heaven, for he can get constant spiritual pleasure, without worldly distractions like work or sleep, with no disturbances like sickness or pain. A good way to measure your present standing is to ask yourself honestly: Do I enjoy Shabbat (which is considered a taste of the world-to-come, where many of the aforementioned physical or temporal pleasures are in fact prohibited) or not? Do I have independent pleasure being with myself (my G-dly soul), or do I need external stimulants and distractions to entertain me? It’s important to stress, that it’s not too late to improve yourself in these fields, to become the type of person you would like to be.

We don’t know exactly how it will be until we get to the world-to-come, nevertheless, like everything in life, we should utilize these ideas to motivate us towards self-improvement and being better people.

A G-d who could do it in one instant chose gradual creation instead — on purpose.

Q. Why did G-d decide to create the world in seven days if He could do it in one?

G-d purposely wanted to create a world of gradually climbing stages, where man, slowly but surely, is a partner with G-d in choosing to improve himself and the world. G-d is so perfect, that He wants to give man the opportunity to have “free will” (like G-d Himself) and chose to leave us room to choose to be “G-dly” and give to the world (like G-d Himself). In short, the greatest gift G-d gave us is that we can be G-dly. Accordingly, He didn’t create a perfect world in one shot, but showed us from the very start that this is a world of evolution, or gradual development and improvement, according to the rate of our choosing to do good (=G-dliness) — inevitably with ups and downs along the way, essential to enable free will. After seeing that the world is built upon evolution and improvement, we notice that sports records are also constantly improving, every generation sees man growing taller and stronger, technology is constantly improving, and with the laws of trial and error, and economic competition, even shampoo is often “New and Improved!”. Just as the individual gradually matures, similarly, mankind is also improving not only physically, but also morally. Although we still have a long way to go, slavery, racism, chauvinism, and imperialism are no longer acceptable. If everything is slowly improving, man eventually says to himself: “the most natural thing for me to do is to improve, as well”. That’s Rav Kook’s “Orot HaTshuva” in a nutshell!

Why the classic mussar works can feel crushing — and why Rav Kook’s are often the gentler door in.

Q. Hi Rabbi, I hope you are having a wonderful day! One of the things that I keep wrestling with is how to study heavy works of Mussar — ones that are very intense. Some examples include Duties of the Heart by Rabbeinu Bachya ibn Pekudah, Lessons in Tanya, Chofetz Chaim on Shmirat Halashon, Orchot Tzadikim, and The Gates of Repentance by Rabbeinu Yonah of Gerona. What bothers me is that either I come across an expectation that seems unrealistic (i.e. the level of Beinoni described in the Tanya) or there’s a harsh example of what happens to an evil person (i.e. the gnat — a creature that sucks but does not give — example in Tanya, when one sins they are lower than the gnat), or it talks about the aspirations of a Jew to be united with the Creator, but that seems very far when reading these books, or that one faces their own evil inclination which sees Holiness as utterly repulsive. To simplify, how do I keep studying Mussar despite their intensity, and how can I apply at least some of what I read? (And how to apply what I have learned bothers me the most.) Thank you.

The challenge which you raise is a common one in modern western society, where democracy raises us to feel good about ourselves, and appreciate the unique value of every person, including myself. This is the approach of “Gadlut HaAdam”, the greatness of man and our G-dly potential which was stressed by the Slabodka Yeshiva (yet even there, often people would get depressed…). Rav Kook already relates to this in his classic works written only about a century ago — Mussar Avicha, Midot HaReiya and Mussar HaKodesh — where many find it easier to connect because it’s more ideological and less critical.

That being said, part of maturity is to understand criticism, and that particularly the people who love us the most — our parents and spouse — criticize us the most, out of care and help. I recall that in high school we disliked Mesilat Yesharim, the classic mussar work, but upon coming to yeshiva gevoha at 18, I understood why people enjoy it so much. Someone with self-confidence should not feel threatened by criticism, but use it as an opportunity to grow in that which I particularly need to improve. In order to get the most out of life, it’s worth it to study objective books and then apply them subjectively to yourself. All the best!

A communal mourning is not a private one: on who stays in the room, and whom we must not forget.

Q. In our community (which unfortunately doesn’t have a rabbi at the moment), it is the custom for anyone who has not lost a parent to leave the service when Yizkor begins. However, there is a debate amongst us concerning the Keil Maleh Rahamim for the Shoah and Av Harahamim. Before these two prayers, we read a list of some 1000 Jews who were deported from our town in France to the death camps. Some of us think that it would be appropriate for those who did not say Yizkor to enter at this point, since these prayers refer to collective mourning. Do you have an opinion on this matter, and are you aware of any poskim who have ruled in favour of this practice?

Obviously the prayers for collective Yizkor have nothing to do with one’s parents being alive or not, and everyone should go in. This is the clear custom in Israel, and logic is the best source. When praying a communal or national prayer, it is wrong to separate one’s self from others (Rambam, Hilchot Teshuva 3:11).

By the way, in addition to the Yizkor mentioning the Shoah, every community — even those outside of Israel — should surely add the Yizkor prayer for the soldiers of the IDF, who also gave their lives for all of the Jewish people and the Jewish Land.

When faith rides the emotions it rises and falls with them. The intellectual side is the steadier ground.

Q. Some things just don’t make sense to us humans. There are many things we cannot understand about this world. We need to be able to have free-will to choose the Creator over His creations. I really have a hard time doing it though and it makes me depressed. I get on these spiritual “highs” where I am ready to die al kiddush HaShem and then I get on these spiritual “lows” where I want a refund for all the time I invested in Judaism. How do I strengthen my emunah? I am willing to do anything. Right now I feel like I am just frum because it gives me a sense of purpose and it is helpful for my mental health. Those are both selfish reasons… Finally, I am just wondering how a Jew having faith or “emunah” is any different than a Muslim ignoring the contradictions in the Quran and believing Islam is true based off of “faith”?

Ups and downs, or “challenges”, are an essential part of life. If everything was always “up” and easy, we wouldn’t have any pleasure when succeeding, for it would just be automatic, and we wouldn’t have the pleasure of free-will. Emunah is no exception. Nevertheless, you seem to be focusing on the emotional aspect of feeling close to G-d and Torah, and emotions, by definition, have “ups and downs”. On the other hand, the intellectual side of Emuna is more constant and eternal, less prone to the dynamics of life.

Find a good chevruta (study-partner) with whom you have “chemistry” in the dynamics of learning, and choose a good book which speaks to you. In recent generations, Rav Soloveichik and Rav Kook seem to be the most successful and obvious choices. Similarly, find a rav on the internet who inspires you, and make his classes a regular part of your schedule. Also, during tefilla, speak with Hashem, and ask Him to help you in this most important topic. He wants it, and you want it, so there’s no reason it won’t succeed (although it may take patience, like all good things in life).

One of the keys to belief in Judaism is precisely your final point. As opposed to any other religion, Jewish history and uniqueness is probably the best way to see G-d, and always was. When there were prophets, even the Christians and Moslems accepted that they were mainly Jewish. G-d not only revealed Himself to Am Yisrael at Sinai, but also spoke to our many prophets. Today, and for the past 2,500 years, He prefers not to do super-natural miracles and not to speak to man in prophecy, in order to enable us a higher level of free-will, just as a parent wants his child to mature and be more independent. But today, still the easiest way to see G-d is through the prophecies to Israel which were given 3,000 years ago, but today are being fulfilled. To gather Israel from 103 countries from north, south, east and west, and return us for the 3rd and final time to the Land of Israel, just as He said He would (Dvarim 30:3), has no parallel in any other nation. The eternity of the Jewish people and our disproportionate role in history and the modern world speaks for itself.

A hostile question, answered head-on: not a cult, but a revelation before millions — and a tradition of learning.

Q. How has your religion grown over the centuries to expand into controlling every media source, government agency and a-list celebrity? I would like to start my own cult like the Jews have, so I need some tips on how to do it please!

I hope your question is based upon sincere admiration and not anti-Semitism! I also hope that you’re not really dreaming of trying to control the world, which is really a job “cut out” for the real G-d, and would infer you need to speak to a psychologist asap!

Judaism did not start as a cult, but by a mass Divine Revelation, when G-d miraculously took us out of Egypt and spoke to more than 2 million people at Mount Sinai, and subsequently spoke to thousands of Jewish prophets over the centuries (all accepted by Christianity and Islam alike). These things cannot be faked or forged! Similarly, the “Chosen”-ness of the People of Israel and the uniqueness of Jewish history is not something that can be emulated or done by anyone but G-d — and, by the way, over history it often involved more suffering than personal or national gain! Centuries of the Jewish scholastic tradition, and the stress we always placed on learning Torah and on intellectual and spiritual pursuits, were also important factors.

I can just suggest, “if you can’t beat them, join them” — for although we don’t want to convert anyone, anyone who sincerely wants to be Jewish is welcome to join our religion and nation! But may I begin with a more humble and practical suggestion: to at least try raising your children by educating them with the Jewish IDEALS as found in the Book of Books, and with a love for the people of Israel.

On suffering, free will, and the trust of a child in a Father whose reasons only become clear with time.

Q. Are you allowed to have feelings of anger toward Hashem, or must you work on your emunah to stop those feelings? Why did Hashem create the world if He was planning on filling it with pain and suffering?

One should not get angry towards anyone, and how much more so towards G-d, Who is the ultimate of truth and goodness. G-d’s creation is not only good, but perfect, and the pain and suffering are results of man’s free-will — which is essentially good and pleasureful, but must include the possibility of choosing wrong. We have no clear idea when and why a person suffers or faces challenges. Life is full of challenges, and it is up to us to use all of them to grow, to destine our fate. The connection between teshuva (improvement) and suffering is only one of millions of possibilities, but definitely not definite, nor essential. Nothing is automatic nor simplistic.

Just remember the parable: like a loving Father does everything towards his child out of love, but the child clearly doesn’t always understand why it’s in his benefit. Similarly, we accept everything Hashem sends us, believing it’s all out of love and for the best, yet often it takes years to realize what good came out of something which seemed at first terrible. Also, we must remember our humility — for just as there are many topics in the world which I don’t understand, e.g. quantum physics, these challenges are in that category as well. Remembering these givens will essentially resolve any kind of anger one may have.

The Torah’s setting is a Jewish people in its own Land. In exile the calculus changes — and it is about survival, not superiority.

Q. Hello, and thank you for your great and important work. I was wondering why it is not a form of racism that Jews keep separate from non-Jews. I understand that intermarriage can be problematic, but then why isn’t same-gender friendship with gentiles approved of? If our mission in the world is to be a light unto the nations, why are we told to keep separate relationships instead of being a good friend and influence on other nations? Also, I understand that the Jews are a chosen nation and are special to G-d, but why is it fair that it’s based on a mother’s Jewishness? Shouldn’t everyone have an equal chance to decide if they’d like to be Jewish without having to go through the difficult path of converting? Looking forward to your reply.

In general, the natural situation clearly addressed in the Bible is geared for Jews living in a Jewish State in the Jewish Land of Israel (as was the situation 3,000 and 2,000 years ago, and today is again predominant, for most Jews live once again in the Land of Israel). Unfortunately, for the past 2,000 years Jews had been exiled and dispersed throughout the world, but all agree that this is not the natural situation, was not the original Judaism, and will not be Judaism in the future.

The problem, during exile, of having a warm friendship with gentiles is that inevitably it leads to assimilation and being influenced by the gentile’s values or religion. This is not racism, but rather responsibility to the world to keep the Jewish people around (see the shrinking Jewish community in every country outside Israel, where instead of us influencing them, they influence us!). On the other hand, when living as a Jewish people in the Jewish Land, where we have the “home-court advantage”, there’s no worry of assimilation, for global correspondence or occasional short visits will not influence a person, his family or his nation to change their values or lifestyle.

Every Jew should always be cordial, polite and friendly to everyone; but if a Jew is living outside of Israel, he should be careful not to befriend others too much (e.g. the prohibition of drinking wine together) — even of the same gender, and how much more so where intermarriage can arise — in a way that may influence his values and “water-down” his lifestyle or observance to be like the rest of society. As opposed to Islam and Christianity, Judaism is totally tolerant and is not interested in the least in converting others to Judaism. The Torah does invite anyone who sincerely wishes to convert and join the Jews, but it’s 100% fine, easier and even better for gentiles to be Noahides — “observe the seven and go to heaven”.