A Kohen’s Wife Concealed a Past Relationship — Now What?

The halachic status doesn’t hinge on what she knew — and the fallout reaches grandchildren.

Q. If a woman had intimate relations with a non-Jew, and then marries a Cohen without divulging, does her husband’s or children’s status as Cohanim change?

I sympathize with your predicament. Unfortunately, there’s no difference whether the women knew of the prohibition or not when she had relations with the non-Jew (often “ignorance is no excuse before the law”), and the marriage to a Kohen is forbidden. If she doesn’t tell him, the husband constantly transgresses a commandment, whether wittingly or not [Nevertheless, it should be noted that R. Moshe Feinstein writes that already in the previous generation in America where Torah observance was usually lax, that Kohen’s mother may also have had relations with a gentile, and accordingly, the husband isn’t a Kohen, and need not divorce his wife]. Regarding status, although the husband remains a Cohen (if he is sure of his own status), their children are not Cohanim but carry the embarrassing status of “Chalalim” (“secularized/unholy”), and are even allowed to enter cemeteries, lose all of the special privileges of Cohanim, including the many gifts and honors involved, do not receive the first aliya to the Torah, cannot say the priestly blessing, etc. Your daughters and even your sons’ daughters would also be forbidden to marry kohanim. In other words, it would clearly be an embarrassment and unfortunate mishap to the family for future generations, and therefore should definitely be prevented. I strongly suggest you do yourself and your future children a favor and marry a regular Jew, for even if you may choose to try and hide the facts, experience shows that very often (especially in our global world) the truth is eventually revealed, and is extremely unfortunate for all (!) involved. May you have the courage and integrity to take the path of honesty and openness, rather than feeling guilty forever in keeping a secret from your closest partner. May this also serve as a message demonstrating the severity of a daughter of Israel having relations with any non-Jew.